I loved you like a brother - by Rosa Slater

I loved you like a brother & getting to have you as that for 3 years was an exciting adventure of fun, admiration and silliness. Out of nowhere we were forever interconnected, united by how you loved the person I love most in the world, the most in the world. What I would give to be silly with you one more time.

This summer, by sheer chance or fate whichever you view it as I have been drawn to you. I’ve seen Groove Armada, the Chilli Peppers, Gorillaz in East London, your favourite bands. These I will always cherish as part of my life with you as I could see and feel you right there. The dance moves you’d be doing or the way the light would fall on your face. You were so good at enjoying yourself, your energy was contagious and unmatched.

I’ve also found myself back at where we spent your last august together, Crete. It always been my favourite place in the world, but it feels different now. The world feels dimmer without you, but when I go to places we spent time together the golden light has an extra shimmer to it which I can only describe as the magic you left everywhere you went. In chania I meander around the streets and see where we did our golden hour photoshoot. Thanks to Live Photos we can see every look on your face still or where we sat at a bar for hours preoccupied with another dumb youth movement game. I feel so much gratitude for having had that time because you taught me so much Zohar.

When my sis loves, she loves strongly, so I know all the time I spent hearing about every intricate detail of your life, you were hearing about mine. The most chill presence to share your thoughts with. Being able to meet and understand all those you loved and all those who loved you has been a complete blessing. You have created a community of people that will go on to keep your memory alive but we won’t just speak of you, we will be you. Your attitude to life lives in us all. We can never make sense of this but we can hold each other, breathe and remember together. Zohar, the reason it hurts so much is because we loved so much and that I would never wish away. I will sit here & feel it & know why x